Reflecting

I'm 41. It's been a long time since I've lived with a mother. I've been THE mother. But not anymore. This makes for a very interesting dynamic in our house ( I almost wrote my house, but this really is a joint living situation, so I write our). I've been criticized on several occasions this week over very small and funny things. (Why do I always under cook the pasta? Don't I know what al dente is? Why are the sheets wrinkled?) I've noticed the "little girl" in me wanting to fight back, defend, and pout. Isn't this the typical mother/daughter relationship? I see it happening between me and Madeline all the time. How strange to be in the daughter (albeit daughter-in-law) role! How very strange to be another daughter in the house. This was unexpected!

The beauty of this whole thing is that I'm not a little girl anymore. The woman in me has grown to a point where I do not have to give in to those feelings of wanting to fight back in retaliation. Or the even stronger feelings of RESENTMENT. Isn't it marvelous that I can recognize growth in myself? And here's the secret to the growth: I know who I am. I really do! I know that I am Cheryl, a beloved daughter of the Most High God. At my truest core of personhood, I belong to God and I am secure in the fact that He loves me with an intimate love, and a deep knowing. In Him I live and move and breathe. This crazy, deep, secure sense of well being makes it possible to withstand almost anything life throws my way. Even a little bit of criticism from my dear mom-in-law. She really is dear, you know.

So I will let her be one of the mothers in our house and love the time I get to spend with her. And once in a while, when I feel a little pouty-ness coming on, I will refer back to this blog to remind myself of what is true.